Systemd Developers Fork Kernel, Docker Package Management

A wave of minor myocardial infarctions were reported today as Linux users read the news of a systemd kernel fork. Most were treated and released with only one admitted to the hospital with more severe symptoms. Elsewhere, folks are beginning to discuss the feasibility of Docker replacing Linux package management solutions. But there are several obstacles to container package utopia.

Systemd continues to be distrusted by many in the Open Source world while others have uncomfortably accepted its presence in their everyday lives. However, when news broke this morning that systemd developers have forked the Linux kernel and plan on developing a whole distribution around it, repercussions were felt community-wide. As Distrowatch.com reporter Jesse Smith said this morning, "It appears as though the systemd developers have found a solution to kernel compatibility problems and a way to extend their philosophy of placing all key operating system components in one repository." Smith quoted systemd developer Ivan Gotyaovich saying, "There are problems, problems in collaboration, problems with compatibility across versions. Forking the kernel gives us control over these issues, gives us control over almost all key parts of the stack. We will soon have GNU/systemd, [a] much simpler, unified platform."

The news was too much for a certain segment of the Linux community who flooded emergency services lines for assistance with symptoms ranging from numbness in extremities to severe pain in the gluteus maximus. The crisis was reported to the CDC who declined to issue an alert stating the crisis seems to be subsiding on its own already. A hospital spokesman is due to issue a statement any time now, but as of yet, no fatalities were reported.

One patient was asked about their experience and said before losing consciousness again, "This is getting scary. They clearly have Linux-world domination on their minds!" One sobbing bystander said, "We told ya so just doesn't seem to cut it." Some actually packed their belongings and headed West with one saying, "systemd makes it easy to run to the open arms of the BSDs." This has obviously rocked the Linux world to its core and the landscape will never be the same again.

Elsewhere, Serdar Yegulalp today asked, "Could container technologies like Docker be used to solve Linux's long-standing conundrums with package management? Might containers provide a path away from dependency hell and competing (and incompatible) package standards?"

Yegulalp spoke with industry insiders who none sounded very enthusiastic. Red Hat manager Lars Herrmann said, "It isn't the best course of action." Another told him it though the functions are quite different, Docker could become the standard "for how systems are imaged."