The Effects of Divorce on Children
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The effects of divorce on children
The Effects of Divorce on Children
Marcela Ramos
50% of all marriages end in divorced. We all know that. That we rarely know how much it affects children, and how they feel going through the same pain adults do. The stress on a child created by a divorce is not permanent but can cause lasting effects into adulthood. Because almost everyone has heard that about 50%, the thought of what does a child go through should be just common. There is almost no getting around the fact that the child will suffer because of the divorce at some point. Most likely children from the ages 3 to 8 suffer more when their parents are getting divorce. We, as adults never think or we never feel, kids are smart, and they think, they observe, and they see a lot of movements we do, they observe our actions. We tend to fight in front of them, we tend to talk when they are there listening to every word, and we tend to even talk bad about their parents when they aren’t there. Sometimes they start thinking its their fault. For a child growing up that is a lot of stress to deal with, and they may even feel that they must try and get their parents back together. When I got divorced, my son was 3 and my daughter was 4 months. It was a very difficult and hard moment for me, I remember I wasn’t even capable of taking care of my own kids, I wasn’t a wife anymore and I wasn’t being a mother. Even though I knew I wasn’t being a mother I never cared for what I was showing my kids at that moment. When I started realizing was days after. When people were looking at me and when they told me I was affecting my own kids. A year after, when I saw my baby boy 4 years old, wasn’t talking, wasn’t being social, wasn’t having eye contact and wasn’t the same happy kid I knew. I started doing research, and I made an appointment with a psychologist and psychiatrist. After a few days they all considered it was time for an evaluation. And they did the evaluation in front of me. A month ago, after my next following appointment both doctors, agree that my son was in the Spectrum Disorder of Autism. I wanted to die, my whole divorce, separation etc. disappeared and now it was my son who was having my attention and all my stress.
After knowing I was alone with my son in the Spectrum of Autism. I started reading books, I joined 2 groups with parents who were in the same situation as I was. He started therapy at one of the best centers in El Paso, Texas. I had to stop working to take him. That helped a lot but still he wasn’t talking or socializing with other kids. Later, when he started elementary school (first grade) from a day to another he started being the same boy he was before, happy, he was smiling again, and he started having eye contact with the whole family and outside people. He started talking, with everybody. He started with the baby talk but still I was so happy to see and advance on him. Now he is 8 years old, alm...
