Australia, and near something called, the leaning tower of pizza! 13/11/2017
I am literally in the place I was born in, Australia! I have finally arrived, after a dangerous 10-mile swim! I was born here, and was moved to America for money! I know what you’re thinking, why would anyone want me, I’m just a stupid little penguin, that’s adorable and only exists in Australia, well every little penguin only exists in Australia! It’s not that interesting!
Anyway, it all happened in 1998. I was going out for a high walk up a steep hill, admiring the beautiful sound of the water, gushing against the hard rocks, smashing each other! I was so relaxed, so I spread my hands out, closed my eyes, and ran through the beautiful breeze, but when I fell of the cliff, and landed on a hard ship, it wasn’t as relaxing! The ship was massive, and was so beautiful! I could see diamond jewellery on the edge of the ship, and I could see high quality food, high quality seats, and high quality everything! It was like a treasure box being opened, and you expected another clue, but instead, you got gold, and diamonds, well this is the same thing! I waddled slowly, trying hard to look at where I was going, it’s already hard for me when I’m the smallest penguin specie, along with crowds of tall people, It’s nearly impossible! I suddenly bumped into someone, as I expected! He was large, and muscly, and had thick, tanned and tattooed skin! He picked me up, and kissed me all over! It was as if you were swimming in a pool full of your grandma’s saliva! I nearly vomited in his face, I wish I did, but I’ve got to say, he took really good care of me for the next week, and I even got to spend a day in the ice tub! They literally made fish, just for me, it was also on the menu!
The next week, I was in America! The man didn’t really say by to me, I think it was because I vomited on his passport! No big deal, he couldn’t get to go to America, and had to make a new passport! These aliens are really fussy these days! Anyway, I found a cool and beautiful ocean, and I thought it wouldn’t hurt if in swam in it! I was swimming, and as I did, I noticed the place did not look anything like America. Guess where I was? In… Italy!! Anyway, after a good fifteen minutes, I got out. I grabbed a towel from the floor, and used it. I walked along the beautiful beach, when I heard a phone call, it was a police’s phone. I sneakily waddled, and hid behind him.
Suddenly, he turned around, looked at me, smiled, and dialled a random number in. Then he said, “this is the first little penguin to ever put its feet in Italy, come.” I feel sorry for babies, they have to deal with people making ugly faces at them to make them laugh, and the hilarious part, is its not even funny, that’s the only reason I laugh! The police officer was doing that to me for the next 20 minutes, and it stopped when some camera men came!
For the next week, I slept in a mansion, and I was all over the internet. My channel was called, The penguinastic show! To be honest, it’s quite babyish. I was hoping for something cooler, then fantastic!
Anyway, I woke up one day, and heard a loud phone call being rung! The manager picked it up, and sighed. I hid behind him, and heard a whisper! The manager smiled. I only heard the bit it said, “we’ll pay you 1 million dollars for the penguin.” I felt like he was talking about me! I think he was, because he took me on a ship, and said, “you go to the America, money I get!” his English wasn’t the best!
When I reached there, they put me in a cage, on top of a dark brown, wooden deck, which was above water. They opened the cage, and took me out. I flapped, and wriggled. When I finally managed to wriggle out, I jumped off the deck, and swam, and swam, and swam, into the shallow, dark water!
19 Years of swimming payed off, and now I’m in Australia, but Charlie, I thought you said you lived in Australia, I can’t find you. All I keep seeing is, something everyone calls The Leaning Tower of Pizza. Wait, I remember watching a documentary on The Leaning Tower of Pizza, it’s in Italy, but that means I’m not in Australia, I’m in Italy, nooooooooo!
From your very stupid friend, the little penguin.