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Clungaaa Essay

1746 words - 7 pages

Quotes from Series 3 Jay: Morning Benders, jump in the minge mobile. Will: Strange thing to call your mums car.Simon: Hang on, have you had the left ear pierced? Jay: Yes Simon: Aint that the one you get pierced to show you're gay? Jay: FUCK OFF Neil: Oh yeah that is the gay one Jay: Well there's a quick way to tell Neil, which ear's your dad got pierced? Neil: Neither cos he's not bent! Simon: Course notJay: You? Who wants a model that looks like a spotty baby crossed with the Statue of Liberty? Jay: Oh, I'm gonna have to go, got a missed call from Ralph Lauren.Jay: Alright Yves Saint Leponce what's going on here then? Simon: Neil's getting me in shit. Neil: They've put a curtain up so we ...view middle of the document...

Neil: Jay was telling us about them birds he pulled in Norfolk. Jays Dad: Oh right was he? Jay: Yeah, you remember them, right dad? Jays Dad: Well he's a total bullshitter then, cos the only pussy he's ever touched was his mums when he fell out of it.Jay: When I say I'm gonna deliver, I fucking deliver. Will: Like a postman with Tourettes?Will: A few years ago i went to see King Kong at the cinema, now I'm on a date with her!----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Simon: Its YOUR spunk!! Neil: but it's YOUR car! Simon: if I spunked in your face it would be yours? Will: No one would get fingered for a bet Jay... with the possible exception of your sister. Jay: Take that back Will: You're right I do take that back, on the other hand your mum would probably get fingered for a packet of biscuits. Simon: You wet the bed when you were 10 Jay: Yeah I wet your mums bed...with my spunk Jay: Have you had a wank over Will's mum? Will: Please don't have a wank over my mum! Neil: I can't pronmise that, Will. Jay: While you've been at home wanking over Carly all summer... i've been out porkin' loads of vadge! Will: Oh piss off Neils Dad: dont talk to me like that in my own house! Will: oh sorry, my manners, piss off PLEASE!! Neils Dad: i've had enough of your lip Will: oh you'd like my lip wouldnt you, right round your bell end! if Mr Chippy doesnt get there first! Whats he gunna knock up, a closet for you to hide in!? you BUMDER!! Jay: Where've you been? Wankin' over your mum's bras? Will: Well seeing as she's my mum, probably not Jay: Well can I have them then? Jays Dad: I know what you're up to, you think cos shes sooo massive, she'll count as 2 shags, well she doesnt! Will: What you lookin at? Jay: Your mum Will: Doesnt look anything like my mum Jay: But that is her snatch though! Simon's mum: Just because Kevin's gay, doesn't mean he's a paedophile! Kevin: I'm not a paedophile! Neil: My Dad's not gay! Jay: Well...let's look at the evidence...1) your mum left him because he loves! cock. Simon's Dad: Your've had an eventful day bunking off school, buying alchol illegally, defacing carly's drive and insulting Neil's dad, have i missed anything?" Will: We also hit a spastic with a frispy Jay: I'm gonna go find that yummy mummy who wants me to spunk on her tummy. Jay: You lot can stay here and finger Neil's arse but i'm off to find some clunge. Neil: He rubbed my legs Jay: That's what you get for leading on Peados you slut! Jay: She's probably just got an old face, must be cos of all the jizz she's had on it Old Lady: What can I get you? Jay: Cornetto please Old Lady: One cornetto, is that all? Jay: Do you want to lick it? Old Lady: Sorry? Jay: My Cornetto, do you want to lick it? Old Lady: Oh that is kind, I've had enough Ice Cream today though sweetheart Jay: Oh right, bit late am I? Old Lady: Do you want something else? Jay: Are you the woman who sucks school boys off? Old...

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