English 1301, Memoir essay
Cigarettes After Nostalgia
I was running 15 min late for class on the first day of school. I sat near the front of the class
because my typical island chair was already occupied. So, I sat down in what seemed to me as
the “chair of divine intervention”. Then suddenly there she was. She walked towards me and sat
one seat in front of me, almost on purpose, as if she knew it made me timid to even be near her.
Well worth it though, just to catch a glimpse of her until the class period was over. I wondered
what kinds of faces she would make when she was confused. To me she was very
multi-dimensional, but to everyone else she was, Lily. She was the girl who would soon teach
me the greatest lesson of my life.
At one point, I thought of myself as being very self-absorbed as well as selfish and entitled to
having an easy life. I would seldom attempt to do any classwork for any teacher, not because I
didn’t know how, but because I felt I was too smart for it, at least for a while. I never knew why I
was this way, but what I do know is that I was never the same after Lily. Just about everything
came so easily to me. I was never shy, but I was not outgoing. I was never a genius, but I was
always clever. I was never rich, but I always had some money. The way I saw it, I may have
been born with blessings, but it did not seem like I was meant for good deeds. Lily was just
another one of those blessings that I thought I did not deserve.
I never looked for anything from her. I was glad to just be somebody she could recognize. So,
when she asked me, “Isn’t this tiny hat cute?”, my mind was left vacant and detached from the
rest of my body. Surprisingly, I didn’t say anything offensive, but something along the lines of
“It would look great on you.” To my delight, she wore it the next day, glued to her plastic hair
band. I smiled at her, and immediately complimented the great fashion designer who gave her
the idea to wear the tiny hat on her head. We exchanged numbers after that.
The weeks that followed, were all identical in the sense that I did not progress from being her
friend. I had gotten to the point where she would remind me that she had a boyfriend every time I
gave a sly compliment. After a while, I have been getting to school about 10 minutes earlier, just
to "coincidently” bump into her in the hallway before our 1st period. This became an
unintentional routine. I never meant to lose a few hours of sleep a night talking to her, nor did
she mean to make me, but I was not complaining. Within another month, my friendship plateau
would soon begin to incline.
The holidays were approaching and her boyfriend had made the questionable choice of leaving