Prof L. Miller
That awful, hazy state that never seems to lift. It's welcoming the darkness of a five-hour nap just to escape the world for a little longer. It's cutting ties with all your friends and letting all of your grades slip. Depression doesn't always necessarily feel like sadness. Sometimes, it feels like absolutely nothing—nothing but clouded apathy. When I was in high school, depression stole everything from me. It took away my friends, chipped away at my GPA, isolated me from my family and friends, and changed who I was forever.
Depression is crippling, and it can creep up on you even when everything seems to be perfect. Nothing warrants your depression; you don’t need to have a catastrophic life changing experience to become lodged in depression’s grip. An imbalance of serotonin in the brain may be all that is required to send you spiraling into a depressive state. There are little things that add up to make me feel the way I feel. I become distant from those around me, I no longer want to be around people. I go into a hole, a hole that I am unable to come out of. The tears that run down my face aren’t always triggered by one specific thing; it can be multiple things that cause me to just want to scream.
Depression is different for each and every person, and each person copes with it in a different way. Depression can be staying in bed for hours at a time and feeling numb to emotions around you. Lying to everyone you know and yourself, telling them you’re fine; when you know that deep inside you aren’t. Depression for me is a constant battle within my mind. It’s an effort for me to do anything, and it feels like a constant weight on my chest that no matter how hard I try; the weight always keeps me down. Every breath I take feels forced, the weight doesn’t go away, it’s just there. It doesn’t mean I want to die; I just want to learn to live my life without the constant weight.
People assume that if you’re always laughing, making jokes or smiling that you can’t have depression. That is far from the truth, I use...