The untold truth:
Beyond the dream
The air got thicker and thicker, it was clear noon was fast approaching. At a complete loss of words, I cried aggressively ‘Please stop I can’t take it anymore’, but these words were as empty as the wind, as tom would not stop with his absurd accusations of Gatsby.
“I picked him for a bootlegger the first time I saw him, and I wasn't far wrong,” Tom alleged audaciously.
“A bootlegger? That is preposterous!” I persisted in an almost doubtful manner.
It is time. The direction of this contemptuous argument is left to be determined by me. As both men were unchivalrously fighting over who gets to ‘keep me’ like children argue whose turn it is to play with quoits.
I’m indecisive and torn. Shouldn’t this be easy? Why can’t things stay as they were before tom found out. I don’t know what to think or believe of them this moment. Should I go with Tom? I used to love him, his family, his house, his lifestyle, his wealth, now it’s not the same. Tom is supposedly always with his mistress… ‘No, he wouldn’t do that’ I reassured myself incredulously. What about Jay? I love him, I am filled with delight every moment I am with him… But Tom said dreadful things about him, Gatsby, a bootlegger? Perhaps It is a possible explanation, ever since I was reunited with Jay his identity seemed enigmatic and unfathomable. He vanished five years ago and now five years later he has totally changed with the identity he has created, the parties the wealth, where did it come from? I am in love with a memory it seems, Jay is not the man I fell in love with; but at the least it is clear his love for me is unprecedented. The past is irreversible, now I am a legal chattel of Tom, I have become an animal without wisdom in this torturous reality, and it must remain this way. After all society is bumptious and exposing my affair will give them a sense of entitlement over me, which must not happen. The status and security I get from tom’s wealth, Jay is unable to offer. Reputation is just as time – irretrievable once lost. ‘I must stay with Tom’ I thought magnanimously. I must talk to him, even though all these years he’s been keeping me as an object free to move as he so desires, as if I was a pawn on a chess board. But this was my fate, as God deemed I did not deserve love, as for most women in this secluded grotesque world…
Tom realized I lost all courage to rebel against his wishes, and magnanimously persisted I go home with Gatsby, I was flabbergasted, to say the least. Though, it was clear Tom seemed haughtily convinced that Jay’s efforts will be unavailing and that he ‘won’. I turned to Jay and saw pure and excruciating fear, his once confident and daring expression was no longer visible, his eyes showed incredulous defeat and it seemed as if his clothes lost color, almost as if he was dishonorably nude. I was unable to fathom the cataclysmic event that just unveiled upon me. I stormed out to clear my mind, but Jay continued with countl...