Reproduction Is Fun Essay

1427 words - 6 pages

I've fought many wars in my time. Some I've fought for reproduction, some for sexual pleasure and some for glory. I suppose fighting for reproduction makes more sense than all the rest. Many men may die but it is a sacrifice we must take. Men of war, we must reproduce, we must venture into the land of Troy (Vagina) and enter the walls of the Vagina where we shall meet our destiny and attack the ovary so that we can fertilise Helen the egg, who was former queen of Sparta. She was stolen by Paris, Prince of Troy. We must fertilise her so that we can rule the land of Troy. I, Agamemnon, powerful King of the Mycenaeans otherwise known as the 'Penis' have united massive tribes of sperm warriors ...view middle of the document...

Once the word of war comes to you, accompanied by the army of sperm you must set forward on your perilous quest into the realms of the Vagina.The Men of war will split into groups and travel through the land of either two Vas Deferens which will lead to the Seminal Vesicles. Only the mature sperm shall be allowed to travel through this dark pathway. They shall be accompanied by deformed sperm warriors who were not to lucky during their development in the Testes. These sperm warriors may have two or three tales, broken necks or faulty fuel packs yet they must continue to fight amongst us. We shall fertilise Helen, the egg.Upon arrival in the land of the two Seminal Vesicles you shall pick up the sugary liquid supplies the land shall provide for you. This will feed the sperm warriors and aid in their maturation which is crucial for the war that awaits them.Achilles as you lead the men to Troy you will pass through the Prostate Gland. From knowledge I hear the land is ragged, filled with many pot holes. Supposedly, there is a lot of nutritious sugary liquid that can be found in them. Use these provisions to assist you. Here, you shall have travel by sea vessels and become sea men-semen!Sail through the urethra and go past the tip of the border of the penis into the land of the vagina. I'm sorry Achilles, I have never ventured there so I can not help you. May the gods be with you and the sperm warriors, and aid all of you in your dangerous quest. Fight for reproduction so we can rule Troy!!!I, Achilles accompanied by the sea men entered the walls of the Vagina. We were suddenly attacked in mass amounts by Troy's acidic environment. Their army was too powerful. They slaughtered our men in thousands. We were too weak for them. We needed a strategy. "Semen!!!!!", I shouted above the deadly screams of our warriors!," We must survive and the only way to do so is for us to stick together. Stick together, seamen thicken, and we will be safe!"This tactic never worked. After 20 minutes in Troy the seamen started spreading out again and the army became thin. Although, they started to spread out which was against my order the sperm warriors were very powerful, not powerful enough. After an hour of this horrific and bloody war, a quarter of the sperm warriors were dead! Our army was few. We had killed many Trojans (female defence warriors) but our army was worse off. The Trojan War was horrific.I ordered the remaining sperm warriors to head for an unknown land apparently called the Land of the Cervix. We found this land eventually. Just outside the cervix we lowered our provisions and rested for a few days. This allowed us to recover and...

Other Essays On Reproduction Is Fun

The Importance Of The Act Of Reading” By Paulo Freire Essay

1423 words - 6 pages of where he grew up and how the text, words, and letters were incarnated in the series of things, objects, and signs. He describes the trees, the house and the atmosphere of where he grew up and how the text, words, and letters were incarnated in the series of things, objects, and signs. He identified how the trees he used to play on were just like people, and prepared him for risk and adventure. He relates that that house he grew up is where

American Dream Essay

765 words - 4 pages The American Dream is the quintessence of a comfortable victorious life, which often includes material prosperity, a house, an improved life for one's kids, and sometimes; it means achieving any goals one may have regardless of what class he or she comes from (O'Connor, Sabato and, Yanus 19). In recent years, it has become more difficult to achieve the American Dream; this is mainly due various issues involving the relationship between the

adadwq sdadasd

504 words - 3 pages Dengan Smarty Ring, Anda bisa membaca notifikasi di handphone Anda melalui jariKetika semua orang membicarakan kecanggihan Google Glass atau smartwatch, tak banyak orang yang berpikir bahwa sesuatu yang ukurannya lebih kecil dari itu juga bisa berguna. Ide itulah yang diusung Smarty Ring, yang memperlihatkan semua notifikasi handphone Anda sehingga Anda tidak harus mengangkat handphone Anda untuk mengetahui apa yang terjadi. Smarty Ring, yang


519 words - 3 pages sporting rivalry goes up a few notches when Derek catches two black men, one a basketball player no longer allowed on the court, trying to steal the family car. He kills them both violently and ends up in prison. He teams up with the Aryan's in prison but becomes disillusioned when they do drug business with minority groups. He makes this point to them and he is beaten and raped as revenge. Keeping himself to himself, he is eventually befriended by a

Miniscribe Corporation

1685 words - 7 pages the Alexander and Ferris brokerage firm's "Buy" list is a practical action. The primary methods of analysis include the assessment of various liquidity and efficiency ratios together with quarterly statements of cash flow for 1988 which can be found in the appendices.Given the results of the analyzed data inclusive of industry trends, financial reports, and ratios, the group's decision is to have Alexander and Ferris remove MiniScribe's stocks

dream world

384 words - 2 pages Dream worldThe warmth of the blanket upon me keeps my body safe and relaxed. My arms and legs stop trying to interact with this physical world. Peacefully, they give up and rest. My head falls further into the softness of my pillow. My eyes are closed slightly and my mind. I use my intuition to see through the world. I dream…Suddenly, the deafening noise of the alarm clock woke me up with a startling jolt. It seemed as though I had fallen

the adverb clause.ppt

754 words - 4 pages USE OF ARTICLES (a, an, the)What did these words originally mean?A/AN is an old word meaning `one'(in many European languages the ordinary word for `one' is used to translate English `a' or `an' and you can also sometimes use Cantonese `yat go' in the same way)THE is an old word meaning `this' or `that'These words no longer have their full original meaning but if you remember that meaning it can sometimes help you to decide which word you need


537 words - 3 pages Breanna PonceMia Sandoval Dominick KlingbyllAugust 26, 2013Block 2The Effect of Pineapple on Jell-OBACKGROUND:Protein was a big part of this gelatin lab. Protein is a multipurpose macro molecule. Gelatin is a protein made out of Jell-O, we used Jell-O in our lab. The students had to put pineapple in the gelatin to see if it will form. The enzymes in the pineapple prevented that from happening. Enzymes are a biological catalyst. Bromelain is the

merits and demerits of mordern gadgets

418 words - 2 pages "MORDERNELECTRONICGADGETS"IntroductionModern gadgets have made us complete slaves to machines. There is no work which cannot be done without the assistance of machines and there is not a single area of human activity where machines don't have to be used. No one can deny the fact that gadgets have not only simplified our lives but also made them more comfortable and luxurious. If electricity fails, life for each one of us comes to a standstill as

Case Study Dr Harold Wolf

614 words - 3 pages $200,000 (a total of $400,000 per year).The payments would start immediately. Since the payments are coming at the beginning of each period instead of the end, this is an annuity due. To look up the future value of an annuity due in the tables, add 1 to n (16 + 1) and subtract 1 from the value in the table. Assume the annual interest rate on this annuity is 10 percent annually (5 percent semiannually). Determine the present value of the trust fund's

Personal Explorations Paper

957 words - 4 pages beliefs I believe played a huge part of expression of sexuality. I believe that sex is something that was designed by God exclusively for marriage. Although that has not always been what I valued or walked by in my life, it is now my beliefs since I am not married. My intermediate and low scores concerning sexual esteem, sexual depression, and sexual preoccupation didn't surprise me, but I do feel that because of my beliefs and how I now view sex that

Similar Papers

Health And Wellbeing Assignment Primary Pdge Critical Review

5380 words - 22 pages high level of discussion. SCN 1-03a Growing of plants and creating own hypothesis. Second Level Experience and Outcome I am able to describe how human life begins and how a baby is born. HWB 2-50a Topic & Lesson Ideas We are learning to recognise the process of reproduction and the roles the different elements play. Pupils will be able demonstrate how a baby is conceived, what is needed to maintain the babies’ health through pregnancy and explain

Women In Achebe Essay

9063 words - 37 pages various personalities of its members such as art, justice, wisdom and power. Tribal people are not all alike or similar in the inside and outside as others claim. They do not follow the same pattern of action without reflection or thought. For example Unoka, Okonkwo's father, is presented throughout the story as a fun lover who neglects his work and enjoys relaxing and music. Similar to Unoka is Nwoye, Okonkwo's son who embodies feminist and

Polymer Mechanichemistry Essay

265 words - 2 pages Summary of Polymer MechanochemistrySometimes, curiosity gets the best of you, it did with Aj Boydston, an assistant professor at the University of Washington. Mr. Boydston and his students at the university conducted experiments, used models and imagined what would happen to the behavior of polymers when polymers undergo mechanical stress. This is a field of chemistry called polymer mechanochemistry. Creating models of star polymers on a 2-D

The Changing Essay

288 words - 2 pages mercy still exist While all the hatred rage and so many say That love is all but pointless in madness such as this It's like trying to stop a fire With the moisture from a kiss And I hear them saying you'll never change things And no matter what you do it's still the same thing But it's not the world that I am changing I do this so this world will know That it will not change me As long as one heart still holds on Then hope is never really gone I