Reproduction Is Fun Essay

1427 words - 6 pages

I've fought many wars in my time. Some I've fought for reproduction, some for sexual pleasure and some for glory. I suppose fighting for reproduction makes more sense than all the rest. Many men may die but it is a sacrifice we must take. Men of war, we must reproduce, we must venture into the land of Troy (Vagina) and enter the walls of the Vagina where we shall meet our destiny and attack the ovary so that we can fertilise Helen the egg, who was former queen of Sparta. She was stolen by Paris, Prince of Troy. We must fertilise her so that we can rule the land of Troy. I, Agamemnon, powerful King of the Mycenaeans otherwise known as the 'Penis' have united massive tribes of sperm warriors ...view middle of the document...

Once the word of war comes to you, accompanied by the army of sperm you must set forward on your perilous quest into the realms of the Vagina.The Men of war will split into groups and travel through the land of either two Vas Deferens which will lead to the Seminal Vesicles. Only the mature sperm shall be allowed to travel through this dark pathway. They shall be accompanied by deformed sperm warriors who were not to lucky during their development in the Testes. These sperm warriors may have two or three tales, broken necks or faulty fuel packs yet they must continue to fight amongst us. We shall fertilise Helen, the egg.Upon arrival in the land of the two Seminal Vesicles you shall pick up the sugary liquid supplies the land shall provide for you. This will feed the sperm warriors and aid in their maturation which is crucial for the war that awaits them.Achilles as you lead the men to Troy you will pass through the Prostate Gland. From knowledge I hear the land is ragged, filled with many pot holes. Supposedly, there is a lot of nutritious sugary liquid that can be found in them. Use these provisions to assist you. Here, you shall have travel by sea vessels and become sea men-semen!Sail through the urethra and go past the tip of the border of the penis into the land of the vagina. I'm sorry Achilles, I have never ventured there so I can not help you. May the gods be with you and the sperm warriors, and aid all of you in your dangerous quest. Fight for reproduction so we can rule Troy!!!I, Achilles accompanied by the sea men entered the walls of the Vagina. We were suddenly attacked in mass amounts by Troy's acidic environment. Their army was too powerful. They slaughtered our men in thousands. We were too weak for them. We needed a strategy. "Semen!!!!!", I shouted above the deadly screams of our warriors!," We must survive and the only way to do so is for us to stick together. Stick together, seamen thicken, and we will be safe!"This tactic never worked. After 20 minutes in Troy the seamen started spreading out again and the army became thin. Although, they started to spread out which was against my order the sperm warriors were very powerful, not powerful enough. After an hour of this horrific and bloody war, a quarter of the sperm warriors were dead! Our army was few. We had killed many Trojans (female defence warriors) but our army was worse off. The Trojan War was horrific.I ordered the remaining sperm warriors to head for an unknown land apparently called the Land of the Cervix. We found this land eventually. Just outside the cervix we lowered our provisions and rested for a few days. This allowed us to recover and...

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