SOCI 215 Social Deviance
A painful type of love: Kink, otherwise known as bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism (BDSM). We will take a look at why this is considered deviant and what draws people into this world of sexual desire and pleasure. Firstly, we will take a look at the presence of sexual deviance or kinky acts that most people probably do not realize are forms of BDSM. Secondly, we will explore the concept of relativity play a part in BDSM through what is considered good and bad. Finally, we will look at how kink has positively influenced the concept of self-image for some of those who participate in BDSM. While this sexual practice is a social deviant behavior, it has captured the interest of many Americans thanks to the Fifty Shades movie trilogy.
Many people consider BDSM perverted, dehumanizing, or worse. But aficionados call it the most loving, nurturing, intimate form of human contact and play. In the words, “It’s not who you love, it’s how you love.” BDSM isn’t an orientation. It’s a lifestyle. That makes it much more reasonable to limit this kind of sexual expression (Saletan, W, 2013). People can have sex without having conversation, negotiation as to what all activities they will engage in, or even have any emotional connection between those involved. However, in BDSM, the players always arrange things in advance with clear, intimate communication, which creates a special erotic bond (Castleman, 2012). Throughout their sexual encounter they are constantly communicating with each other asking things such as, “I am going to do this to you now”, “What level are you at?”, “How does that feel?” While the communication is key to BDSM and all the “do’s and do not’s” are outlined in the contract that those consenting to this sexual act agree upon, it is not always upheld by all members. We will look more into this later on though. What many people do not realize is that if you enjoy having your hair pulled, nipples pinched, being bit, or having your butt slapped during sex, then that is submissive behavior or masochism. But if you like to do those things to your partner then you like the dominate role or sadist.
Relativity says this: Judgments of what is good and bad vary, and these judgments play a role in actors’ and audiences’ lives, depending on where they are located (Goode, 2012. p.13). This means that if couples or groups want to engage in BDSM, there is nothing wrong with that as long as it is done in a location where everyone participating is fine with the behavior. In other words it is not in a public area. If spanking, nipple clamps, handcuffs, and or restraints are what you find sexually arousing and gratifying, just remember that others may find it immoral or deviant. Relativity is really about each person’s moral and ethical beliefs and values. Thanks to the Fifty Shades Movies we have seen the following:
“Twenty to 30 years ago, surveys suggested 10 to 15 percent of Americans had tried it at least once. Five to...