Jacob (Jake) is my big-little brother (I don't know if Hypen should be there). I help him put his clothes on, I help put him to bed, I help him color, and I even help him go to the bathroom. Jacob is seventeen years old, one year older than me (I help him put his clothes on, get him to bed, color with him, and help him go to the bathroom). My brother was born with a disease called Mucopolysaccharidosis, also known as MPS. There are about seven types of MPS (put a period). Jacob has MPS I or Hurler Syndrome. Jacob got this disease because both my mother and father have a carrier gene that they passed on to us. (There is)It was a one in four chance for us to be affected by the disease and a two in four to be a carrier. Jacob was unfortunately affected by the disease, and I am a carrier. Jacob has grown up looking very different from everyone else. He talks, eats, walks, thinks, and looks different than the other kids. Jacob is a four (-) foot (-) two (4'2") seventeen (-) year old with the intellectual age of a toddler. Many people might say that having Jacob as a brother is a burden, but I think (do you think or do you know? If you know you have learned so much from him, write, "but I have learned so much from him) that I have learned so much from him.
One experience I have had with Jacob occurred when I was about seven and him eight (is Jacob's age important here? ). A new family of three had moved down the street (no comma after "street" put a period) the () night that they moved in, (no comma) they had a new house party. During the party, me and my brother Jacob (capitalize J) were out the front of our house as Jacob picked dandelions which he continues to do to this day (which he continues to do to this day is not necessary). As we were outside, a blonde nine(-) year(-) old boy showed up saying he was(put "is" here. You have two tenses here) looking for a new friend. I told him that I would be his friend(, ) but he shunned me (. ) (He said he couldn't) by saying that he couldn't be friends with someone two years younger than him. He asked me how old my brother was, and I said that he was eight, only a year younger than LuCas (is LuCas a new character? ). Lucas approached Jacob and asked him if he wanted to be his friend (You already expressed this). Jacob screeched (, )"NO!" and swung his arm towards LuCas's face. I told Lucas that Jacob had special needs and that he wouldn't want to play with him(, ) but that he could play with me while Jacob picked dandelions. Lucas agreed but did not stop trying to get Jacob to like him. He would pick dandelions and give them to Jake (Pick either Jacob or Jake, for consistency, but don't refer to Jacob as both in the essay). Eventually, Jacob pointed at Lucas and said, "Luukaaass (comma here)(then period)". (period goes before the quote) Usually, when Jake did this, it meant that he was okay with them(who's them? Needs clarity) being around(, ) but it (he) was the first person besides myself (unclear. ...
