Sticks and Stones
Gavin Meyer
When we first heard the news we were relieved. North Korea had announced
that if the military of any country was to fire a single bullet or munition they would
respond with nuclear war. We thought there was no chance of us going to war because
president Bernie Sanders wouldn’t risk the lives of millions of Americans, but the
Republican controlled congress had other ideas. It was the shock of a lifetime when we
received draft notices. It wasn’t clear what was going to happen. There was no way we
could invade North Korea with the threat of a nuclear war hanging over our heads, and
there was not much threat of them attacking us at home, so why were we being
drafted? We were told to report to our local boards on 08/27/22, just 3 days after
receiving the notice, no further information was given to us.
As everyone shuffled into the local High School’s gym, the same one I had
played basketball in not many years ago, we were sorted into lines alphabetically. There
were roughly a thousand of us that were drafted from my hometown, and once we were
all sorted and everyone had filled out their forms, we were given 24 hours to go home
and pack our bags and say goodbye to our loved ones. After that, we were to report
back to be shipped off to our service stations. Packing my bags was simple enough, I
brought a few changes of clothes, and some books, and having no family to say
goodbye to I chose to watch Seinfeld re-runs and eat some Lucky Charms™ instead. I
wondered what my assignment will be, I wondered why the government was keeping us
in the dark, but I would find out what was happening soon enough.
The next few days rushed by, and before I knew it my company and myself were
standing before our captain, John Norkus. John is tall and brawny, but somehow
impossibly pasty. He looked like he’d never seen in the sun in his life. We were all
excited and nervous to finally learn what our assignment would be. “Gentlemen” our
captain said with a stern voice, “I know you’ve been waiting patiently to learn why you’re
all here, it isn’t typical to withhold information for this long, but the circumstances we’re
under aren't typical” John stepped closer to us, gone was his steely demeanor and stern
tone, he instead had a grin on his face, “North Korea is threatening to nuke us if we fire
a single bullet” he said excitedly “but what if we invade without firing one?”
We were confused, how could that be possible, did he expect us to rush in on
horseback with bows and swords? “That got us thinking” John continued “what if we
were to invade on horseback with bows and swords?” We turned to each other in
confusion, I remember wondering if it was some sick joke. “Calm down gentlemen,”
John said with a powerful voice, “I know what I’m saying might seem ridiculous, and to
be honest, it is slightly, but we don't have any other options”. We were shocked, how
were we supposed to fight with knives and swords against North Korea’s finest
mid-1970’s-s...
